This morning, he spoke with a professor at the University of Oregon about codependence and, while I had a rather complex idea of that topic, he summed it up in the “Dependency of another”, Especially circumscribing it to a relationship.
However, the codependent is in itself an addict that tries to take refuge in others or help others. Without realizing that as long as it does not eradicate that Addiction to peopleyou cannot elaborate a personal strategy that takes it out of an increasingly complex vicious circle.
In 1996, I was working as head of a press cabinet at an addiction clinic located on the island of Palma de Mallorca. There, and while I performed my work, I was making a series of small documentaries related to the different addictions that were: alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. And among all of them, the one that was defined as Codependence or addiction to people.
Although circumscribed to the scope of relationships, I soon realized that this addiction to others was extrapolable to all other fields.
In one of the small documentaries I interviewed a nurse who had suffered different hooks throughout his life, moving from an abuser father, to establishing permanent abuse relationships with other couples already in adulthood. We established, that he had not only maintained this negative, toxic relationship, but I needed it. He had succumbed, even to the other addictions of others.
In general, if his partner smoked, he ended up smoking, if he drank he ended up drinking, and if he consumed, he ended up consuming any kind of substance. It is not even strange to see obese couples that when analyzing its past it is observed that one of them, before knowing and starting living together was thin.
Without entering the psychological rhetoric about the self and its problems, or in the uncontrollable psychoanalytic ideas about the relationship with parents, etc., which are not my field, if commenting that at that time I extrapolated that Codependence To other fields, specifically that of the bad calls, at that time destructive sects.
When one enters the fascinating world of codependence, he realizes the inner loneliness that policy to the people who suffer from it, and the result of that desolation tends to feel fascinated by everything that can give them a meaning in life. At that time (90s), where there were no social networks and access to information was complex and difficult, people hugged all kinds of beliefs, whether these religious, naturists, policies, etc.; In many cases this hug was made consciously, but on other occasions it was simply the need to give or receive affection that motivated those acts.
The codependents, at one point they entered or left, depending on which groups or organizations, for an eagerness to help or be helped, permanently canceling who were really. This act, used to take them permanently to failure, turning their lives into a permanent struggle, not to advance, to know each other, but to subsist.
Through the years, I have observed how he ended Codependent It is extrapolable to other aspects of life, until it becomes a term that disguises other types of disorders, such as the obsession to control, instead of helping.
Can the Codependence extrapolate to a social phenomenon such as power, for example. The desire for wanting to help others compulsively could even lose the focus to many politicians about what are the real needs of their people, and yet perform actions that harm him, thinking that he is doing well.
The war in Ukraine and its main actors comes to mind, regardless of whether this issue requires an exhaustive analysis, it is still curious that both Volodimir Zelenski and Vladimir Putin seem to depend on each other, to continue feeding its contest strategy. Could we be talking about codependence in this case? About 80,000 dead by the forces and the Ukrainian people and more than 200,000 dead by the Russian contingent, make external intermediation more than necessary so that this strange symbiosis breaks. I repeat, understanding that, as the French president Emmanuel Macron affirms, Russia already broke other peace agreements in the past, for that codependence he has with power and with whom he is flattened, I think that the emergence of external forces far from the conflict would be necessary to establish a framework of conversations that breaks said dynamic. In this case, welcome is Mr. Trump.
Today the Codependence It is also studied as a character defect, that raises certain behaviors. This is interesting, especially since it focuses on us, our needs, in our drives, in our virtues or in our defects, in our fears and the need to advance within the maze of our own perception.
In general, what happens to us, what we express, always usually occurs for a continuous and deep struggle between our past and our present. We are what we eat, not only physically, but also and much more emotionally and intellectually.
———-
First published in this link of The European Times.
