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HomeCultureThe Rolling Stones: ‘Foreign Tongues’ & The 30 worst album covers of...

The Rolling Stones: ‘Foreign Tongues’ & The 30 worst album covers of all time

Legendary rockers The Rolling Stones have announced the release date of their new album ‘Foreign Tongues’ and confirmed that it will feature guest appearances from the likes of Paul McCartney and The Cure’s Robert Smith.


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The rock veterans’ 25th studio album – the follow up to 2023’s ‘Hackney Diamonds’ – has been teased by the energetic single ‘Rough and Twisted’ and rather catchy ‘In The Stars’.

It comes out on 10 July… and we need to talk about the album artwork.

It’s a cartoonish Photo-fit / slide puzzle collage of the faces of Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood, and it’s… Well, it’s a choice.

Check it out for yourselves:

Album artwork can be tricky and while the outer packaging is by no means any reflection on the quality of the content, presentation does count.

Picture the scene.

You’ve spent months working on your album. You’re happy with the lyrics, proud of the production, and excited about what you’re going to send onto the airwaves.

Then comes what can be a make-or-break moment when it comes to selling your work: the record sleeve design which will be the public’s first brush with the fruit of your accomplishments.

Now imagine tripping at that last crucial hurdle and inadvertently sabotaging your hard work.

Granted, not every album cover can reach iconic status, and The Rolling Stones have aced it in the past, with the likes of ‘Sticky Fingers’, ‘Exile on Main St.’ and ‘A Bigger Bang’. It’s a shame that their latest effort looks the way it does – with no pre-judgement as to the upcoming 14 songs we’re about to get in July. The first two singles are promising.

Still, as retina punishing as the artwork is, it’s by no means the worst design choice when it comes to album aesthetics.

Here are Euronews Culture’s picks for the worst album covers of all time – 30 images which range from ‘What were you thinking?’ to ‘I’m going to need therapy’. They’re listed chronologically and are inexcusable.

Again, fair warning: Eyesores ahead.

Paddy Roberts – Songs For Gay Dogs (1963)

It must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

The Faith Tones – Jesus Use Me (1964)

Bouffants and Jesus… A match made in heaven? This album made it onto our list of the 20 Most Controversial Album Covers Of All Time, purely because the one on the right is an uncanny dead ringer for a young Stephen Fry in drag. It makes this list because… Well, it gets more upsetting the longer you stare at it.

Pat Cooper – Spaghetti Sauce & Other Delights (1966)

Are there any other delights other than Italian food?

Swamp Dogg – Rat On! (1971)

Swamp Dogg does seem happy to ride a giant rodent. The latter also seems rather pleased with the whole endeavour. Who are we to judge?

Heino – Liebe Mutter… Ein Blumenstrauß, der nie verwelkt (1972)

The German artist has sold over 50 million records, proving that cover art isn’t everything. However, is there any excuse for ‘Liebe Mutter… Ein Blumenstrauß, der nie verwelkt’ (literally: ‘Dear Mother… A bouquet of flowers that never fades’), a cover that feels like you’re being stalked by a very creepy man with a piercing stare and wearing a turtleneck? Shudder.

Robert Wotherspoon – Music to Massage Your Mate By (1976)

In case you were wondering what kind of music hides behind this harrowing album cover, it’s easy listening jazz. Massage, anyone?

Pam Ayres – Will Anybody Marry Me? (1977)

Oh, Pam. You seem to be on the brink of either tears or mania, but we really hope you’ve found your match.

Scorpions – Lovedrive (1979)

A rare miss from legendary artist Storm Thorgerson, who was responsible for some of Pink Floyd’s greatest albums sleeves.

Barbara Markay – Give Your Dick to Me (1980)

Steady on, Barb.

Ringo Starr – Stop And Smell The Roses (1981)

Ringo, you are loved. However, this cover is just as unsettling as Heino’s effort.

Millie Jackson – Back To The S**t! (1989)

Why one would imply a bowel movement on a record sleeve is beyond reason… Surely there were better options??

Crosby, Stills & Nash – Live It Up (1990)

Wieners on broken sticks… On the Moon. Sure. Quick question: Without oxygen, how do those sausages grill? Food for thought.

Pooh-Man (Mc Pooh) – Funky As I Wanna Be (1992)

This is what you’d charitably call ‘ill advised’.

The Handsome Beasts – Beastiality (1996)

File this one under: ‘Kill it, kill it with fire’.

Crash Test Dummies – Give Yourself A Hand (1999)

We’ll pass, thanks.

Limp Bizkit – Presents Chocolate St★rfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water (2000)

Five goblins bobbing around in a gross sea of sausages, made worse by the fact that “chocolate starfish” is a slang term for one’s derriere. It accurately encompasses the band and its nu-metal sound, though. Every cloud…

William Hung – Hung For The Holidays (2004)

Aside from the obvious word pun, there’s something deeply haunting about Mr. Hung’s Yuletide-fuelled expression of joy.

Boned – Up At The Crack (2004)

When the tracklist includes song titles like ‘Drain The Main Vein’, ‘Ain’t No Talkin’ With Your Mouth Full’, ‘Loaded On Love’ and ‘Tails Up Heads Down’, a cover like this shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise. Still, does anyone think these chaps could be overcompensating?

Soulja Boy – Souljaboytellem.com (2007)

The death of street cred in one image.

Lady Gaga – Born This Way (2011)

A controversial pick, maybe – but again, this isn’t about the quality of the music. On a purely aesthetic level, this body horror / human-machinebiology business just doesn’t work.

Justin Bieber – Believe (2012)

A cheap shot, maybe, but quite aside from what you think of Bieber’s squawking, the police tape at the forefront does this offensively dull album cover no favours.

Maroon 5 – Overexposed (2012)

To be fair, the title and the cover match. Still, everything… Everything happening here… What is going on with everything happening here??

Eric Clapton – Old Sock (2013)

A holiday selfie taken with a low-res camera, matched by a terrible wood-plank font. And while we’re at it, why on Attenborough’s Blue Planet would you put your face on an album titled ‘Old Sock’?

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Mosquito (2013)

A huge purple mosquito somehow holding a jar of green goo, threatening a screaming baby… Quite what went through South Korean artist Beomsik Shimbe Shim’s mind when he came up with this, we’ll never know. The album’s underrated though.

Corey Feldman – Angelic 2 The Core (2016)

The former actor selected this cheap clip art for his 2016 album cover, seemingly trying to convey that he was emerging from his personal hell and finding the route towards the light. We’d need a reverend to explain why the angels pulling him up from the bowels of hell are in lingerie. Do get in touch.

Kevo Muney – Baby G.O.A.T. (2019)

A screaming goat giving birth to a rapper (born as a whole adult for some reason) as a goat obstetrician looks on… Don’t stare too hard or too long at the birthing goat’s face. A cursed image if ever there was one.

Green Day – Father Of All Motherfuckers (2020)

It’s a spin / ‘close-up’ on their ‘American Idiot’ cover, and an ugly one at that. It’s also comfortably the band’s worst album. So sometimes, what you see is what you get. As for the vomiting unicorn – how old are you??

David Bowie – Toy (2021)

This posthumously released collection of re-recordings from between 1964 and 1971 deserved so much better than Bowie’s face poorly superimposed onto what seems to be a child’s body. Definitely one which demands to be reduced to ashes (to ashes).

Dry Cleaning – Stumpwork (2022)

A great band. A terrific album. A gag-worthy cover.

Morrissey – Make-Up Is A Lie (2026)

The ex-Smiths frontman looks like he’s enjoying his colonoscopy…

Thirty examples which hopefully put The Rolling Stones’ new album cover into perspective… ‘Foreign Tongues’ comes out on 10 July.


Source:

www.euronews.com